Pre-columbian+World+Corrections

toc Here are my comments and my suggestions so that you can improve your work. Read my suggestions carefully and then make the changes.

1. The World before 1492

 * Title: You have to delete the second title, the title already appears at the top of the page. Done
 * Table of Contents: it is correctly located but the titles are too long so it is not really helpful. Improve it. It is still not helpful because the information on your page is not interesting and does not focus on your topic.
 * Appearance: it is quite good as you introduce images as well as content. You need to put some old maps and explain what you see on them . It would be nice to establish a comparisson between an old map and a current one so that you can be precise about what they knew or didn't know. You haven't done what I told you to do.
 * Content: as your topic focuses on "the world Europeans Knew at the beginning of the 15th century", you should research about how did they represent the world. It is important for your research to find old maps and describe the world that appears on them. H ow many continents did Europeans know? which was their size? did the know much of them?... It is correct to talk about Marco Polo's expedition but I don't see the point on describing the illnesss that spread through Europe (can you explain it to me). You should focus on geography more than in any other thing. If you talk about Marco Polo's expedition you need to explain what it consequences where and if it somehow changed the world. You haven't done what I told you to do.
 * Original content: too much copy-paste. You need to use your own words. This is better, now you are using your own words which is great. Keep on doing that.
 * Grammar: be careful with grammar, some articles should disappear (europeans instead of "the europeans"). Check the tenses again. (the past of "can" is "could")
 * Other observations: you have done some work but I now you can do it a lot better. Focus on old maps, organize and divide the work . Each member of the group has to do some research. By the end of this year you should be experts on what was the world Europeans knew before 1492.
 * 2nd correction's observations: you have improve the aspect of your page and you have used your own words but your research about the topic is still very poor. I still don't know how which parts of the world did Europeans know and how did they knew it. This is not enough. You need to work hard on the topic or you will fail the 3rd trimester.
 * ¡You need to work more and focus on your topic!

2. Pre-Columbian Civilizations in the Americas

 * Title: delete the second title, your title already appears at the top of the page. Done
 * Table of Contents: it is correctly located but it is so long that it is not useful. Create a toc at the top with the main headings and then create different table of contents on each topic to write the secondary headings. It is better than the first one although the title "parts of the project" does not give useful information. Change it.
 * Appearance: because you are focusing on two main topics (aztec and inca) you should create two different pages and move the content there. Use the main page to give a general idea about how America was organized before Columbus's discovery and then special pages for the two civilizations. You need lots of images and maps. You have done a good work improving the appearance of your pages.
 * Content: it is nice, interesting and useful but do you really understand what you are talking about? It is important that you understand how those civilizations were organized, how was their society, how were they ruled, what inventions and techniques did they have and what they didn't. You have done good research. Now you've got useful information to work with and create new materials. Some hypertext is needed on the Inca's page.
 * Original Content: some hypertext and clarifications on the words is needed. Too much copy. Really better althoug some copy is still present. Remember to always use your own words.
 * Grammar: quite good but need some revision. Check grammar and spelling. Quite good but always check grammar and spelling.
 * Other observations: ¡Quite good! Keep on with the good work and make it look nicer.
 * 2nd correction's observations: ¡Really good! You have done good research and now you've got interesting information to work with. You can begin using tools and creating new materials.
 * Tools: you have to create original, interesting and useful materials and presentation by using the information on your pages. You have to create:
 * One google map including the Aztec and the Inca empires.
 * 2 moviemaker presentations (Aztec Empire and Inca Empire) with images, videos, audios, music...The information included in it has to be useful and interesting. Do not include too much information. If you want you can create more presentations focusing on the different parts of the Empires (government, religion...). Then we will convert the presentations on videos to be included on the glogster.
 * 2 glogs by using glogster. One about the Aztec Empire and another one about the Inca Empire.
 * Voki. You can create as many vokis as you want to explain information about your Empires.
 * Xtranormal movie. If you want and have time, you can create one or two xtranormal movies about your topic.

3. Reasons for Exploring the World

 * Title: delete the second title, your title already appears at the top of the page. Done
 * Table of Contents: it is correctly located but the titles are so long that it is not helpful. Improve it. You have change it but it is still not useful because it is not related to your topic.
 * Appearance: It looks empty and not useful. There is no content, images or videos included on the page so it doesn't seem interesting. The appearance is much better.
 * Content: the content is not included on the main page so it looks desserted. Unless you have tons of content (which is not the case) you should not create so many pages to work. Please, copy the information you have included on the secondary pages on the main page and use secondary pages only to clarify important issues.
 * After reorganizing your content write me a message telling me which pages should I delete.
 * The page about spreading Christianity is not connected to the topic at all. Redo the information so it has something to do with a reason for exploring the world.
 * The page about expanding their knowledge is empty.
 * The page about animals they found in America does not make sense. They didn't know what they were going to find so that was not a reason. On the other hand finding animals was a consequence so it is not connected to your topic. Delete this page and its information after sharing it with the group that is working this issue.
 * The information about gold and silver is interesting but only if it is connected wiht reasons to explore. Organize better the information and delete what is not necessary.
 * Content: you have changed the content but all the information about Al-Andalus and the Reconquest is not needed because you are talking about "Reasons to explore the world". Please focus on your topic and research about it. You have to talk about the previous route to the spices and include some information about the Crown of Castille and the Crown of Portugal after finishing the Reconquest (who they were, how powerful they were...). Talk to me if you don't know what you have to do.
 * Original Content: too much copy and paste. Use your own words. You have improved this aspect which is great. Remember that you always have to use your own words. Hypertext and links to clarify words is needed, create it.
 * Grammar: Terrible. Check it! You have made some changes so it is better. But you still need to review grammar, tenses and spelling.
 * Other observations: You only worked on the last minute and the content and organization is not very good. You need to put much more effort on this project and focus on the reasons that led to the exploration of the world. Improve your research and load interesenting and useful information inmediately. Organized your work properly, everybody has to collaborate on the research and the page.
 * 2nd correction's observations: You have improved your work so it looks better but you have included lots of information that is not related to your topic, so it has to be changed. Focus on your issue and try to find more information about it. Talk to me if you are not sure about what you have to do. You have done some good work but you are not ready to begin with tools. Complete the research as soon as possible so that you can do more interesting things.
 * ¡You need to do a great effort to catch the other groups! If you are not sure about what your topic is, talk to me.